Sunday, January 18, 2009

Man at work

These rough hands usually see cold, wind, splinters, dirt, grease, fish slime, and much less often are used for more delicate pursuits like drawing plans, but that's just what Kevin has been doing for most of the past three days. There are plans for a new shoe bin/bench for the kids, a new storage area in the kitchen for canning supplies and the canned goods that follow (by the way, he does ALL the canning!), more storage for coats and hats and recycling in the mud room. Not to mention the plans for an entire addition. Yes, I said it...addition. EEEK! The plans are all to scale of course, materials lists are complete as well as all cost estimates. He's thorough.

I'm writing knowing full well that all of these plans may never fully come to fruition, but based on the fire that's been lit under him (let me clarify, it wasn't me with the match) I'm guessing most everything will eventually go from paper to reality. It has prompted even more organization from me and some creative new uses of space and existing furniture. A no cost reordering invigorates me and I feel more in charge of my own surroundings, instead of living like I'm in someone else's space.

The main crux of the projects would be a new bedroom/closet/bathroom addition for he and I, with some structural changes upstairs to our existing bedroom which would become Allie's new bedroom (currently she and Lauren share a room). As it is now, the house has two bathrooms, and only had one when we moved in. All must walk through our bedroom and closet to get to the only bathroom upstairs so a wall would be added, making a hallway to the bathroom and closing off the third bedroom.

I hate to get too excited, in a way I feel it's not all part of what I consider basic necessities and I don't hang my hat or happiness on what's NEW and BIG and exciting. I'm hoping that in the end I feel more settled, organized and for lack of a better way of putting it, more grown up. Less like I'm camping out and making do with an entire house of hand-me-downs (although there's nothing wrong with that) and more like it's okay to have things the way I want them. There are some deep issues here, ones which I try to exorcize from time to time but until now haven't been able to rid myself of them entirely. Perhaps forcing myself out of a worn out comfort zone will help, the little pushes and prodding along in the right direction with me clawing and scratching every step of the way, and in the end a realization that self-denial is not always self love. Sometimes it is, but not always.

Okay, enough. I think we're off to Lowe's.


puffthemagicrabbit said...

Sending you peace. You'll work it all out.

Pamela said...

Very exciting!!! I'm so curious - what was that match??

Getting excited about potential for more effective, growing-family-friendly living is nothing to be uncomfortable about. Enjoy the process!