I change by not changin'
small town predicts my fate
perhaps that's what no one wants to see
~lyrics from "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town" by Pearl Jam
I felt like this today, when finally even the dialup internet connection failed us after the storm last night. Like the world changes around me and all I can do is watch. Yet I've thrust myself right in the middle of it without the means to truly participate, with this shop, this blog, a real business. Two more weeks says Comcast. It's been since February. I won't belabor the point, just know that this extremely patient girl is now finally out of patience. It has happened.
Feeling defeated, I started to once again look on the bright side, find the silver lining, see the glass half full and make some lemonade. It started with the apple that fell prematurely from the tree in the backyard, placed delicately atop the picnic table by our dog, Sunny. Nice.
Then I noticed the dried bits of gardening along with some gloves and a pile of dirt left by the girls.
And I was taken with the green of the zucchini, the little ones that are picked on time and the ones that hide under humongous leaves only to be found later and treated like buried treasure by the kids. "Look, mom! Look what Allie found! It's huge!" A smile spread across my face.
I slowed down, I took deep breaths, I participated in the day set before me. But, I wish I didn't have to say this, my frustration didn't completely go away. I'll work on it again tomorrow.
I had time to make some jewelry and some hats and booties, even with the 2-day sleepover that was still in play and 4 extremely tired and delirious kids, the pool, craziness, all of it. I promised to show you some so please enjoy.
Even a self-portrait of sorts. I think that's enough.