Thursday, June 19, 2008

It is definitely the groundhog's fault

Yesterday afternoon I was on the front porch taking pictures of these cute new booties I'm calling "chocolate dipped" and I heard a rustling underneath me and the smell of skunk was increasingly pungent. Instantly my heartrate went up, the hair on my arms stood up and I was thinking, where are my husband and the gun at a time like this?!! But my thoughts quickly swirled to, "what if it's the skunk and not the groundhog?". I had visions of myself being sprayed, banned from my own house and society, and sitting in a tub of tomato juice or whatever it is that you do to get rid of skunk nastiness. Just then, the rustling and the stench increased and the groundhog stuck his nose and head up by the steps. I sat motionless, just watching him, wondering if he'd charge, bearing white teeth and chattering at me like in some bad movie. So I stomped on the porch, he saw me and terrified, darted back under the house.

I went inside, picked up the phone, do I call Kevin? I know he's in the middle of a meeting right now. I put the phone down and went back out to take more pictures. The same scenario played out again. That's it. Calling Kevin. "Where's the gun, how do I load it, he smells like roadkill, I'm gonna get that sucker, how do I shoot it once I get it loaded???" I got the I'm-in-the-middle-of-something-brushoff and an I'll be home soon, I'm leaving now.

But I'm a figure it out for myself kind of girl. I found the gun and put in the cartridge, kept the safety on and started lurking around my own yard looking quite suspicious, enough to bring a neighbor out of her house sipping wine for the full show. I crept from tree to tree trying to get in a good position and waited. As this all was happening, I turned around to see the other groundhog that lives under a huge mass of forsythia bushes, munching on the alfalfa the farmers just cut. I had a clear shot, I aimed, I started shaking and just as I was about to pull the trigger he ran. A minute later Kevin pulled up the drive, laughed at my sudden, out for blood kind of attitude, and showed me that I'd failed to put the first bullet in the chamber. Oh.

In case you're wondering, it's perfectly legal out here to shoot a gun on your own property. But since this is not always so reliable, especially when it's up to me, we've added another weapon to our arsenal. A live trap. So far she's empty. I just hope we don't trap a skunk.

p.s. the rest of the chocolate dipped booties should be up in the shop later this morning.

1 comment:

patience said...

i can just see your tiny frame holding a gun trying to get the's kinda funny aim!