The alarm went off yesterday morning at 5:30 like usual. I rolled out of bed to make the coffee, check emails, ready my work computer and list of patients for the day. I carried my mug to the office, edited photos, prepared the previous blog post and planned my morning meditation. This peaceful time of day before the sun is up, before the house is up, before I am fully awake is special, it is practically the only time of the day that is my own, where no other being needs anything from me.
Yesterday, I went to my cushion thinking about what I wanted more of in my life. Money was off the table, too selfish, I don't ask for stuff like that. Love? Already have love, it is an either or in my opinion and something I can't ask for more of, I either have it or I don't and I do so I didn't ask for more, didn't make sense to me. But water, now that's different. I began thinking about how I'd like more water in my life. More scenes like the ones above and below. Warm summer days, endless beaches with blue crashing waves and large expanses of sand.
Carefree, soothing winds and water, yes, that is what I want and have always wanted more of in life, especially lately and you know if you've been following along. Something strange happened nearly ten minutes into sitting and breathing in and out. My exhalations sounded just like waves crashing ashore. It was a crystal clear moment in which I thought perhaps there was something to this meditation stuff after all. I have most definitely seen changes in terms of my mood over these past weeks which should be convincing enough. I felt good yesterday, like I was riding on a light cloud and everything seemed effortless, quick, easy.
Then my husband came home from work with this:
Not exactly what I had in mind. Instead of being transported to some island in the Caribbean he had stumbled upon "the deal of a lifetime, babe!" A six-way kayak trailer that will also hold our canoe and a hand truck or dolley of sorts to move the thing when it's off the car, all for a steal. "Lady didn't know what she had!" he said. All the while I thought just where are we going to put one. more. thing? One more piece of water apparatus and we live in the middle of farmland? One more reminder of how close but how far away we really are from where we think we want to be and do we really even know just where that is for sure?
Of course I don't believe my morning had anything to do with the trailer but the coincidence is uncanny. And Karma or fate, chance, luck, coincidence, God, whatever the case, might be onto something. While it might not be my idea of paradise, we now have a way to get 3 kayaks and a canoe simultaneously to the river and there I had my answer...more water. Wonder what I should focus on today?