Friday, October 16, 2009

Ready to drop

It's been so long I almost forgot I had a blog. I've forgotten what it feels like to be able to grab the camera at a moments notice and go outside and see what I can see. I'm longing for the moments of stillness that used to come so frequently just a few months ago. I'm missing the dog, the kids, the knitting, the market, the warm weather, the outside, everything's just going so fast.

Instead I'm keeping up with the morning routine and streamlining lunch prep and trying to make sure everyone gets out the door on time and with everything they need, myself included. I'm trying to stay on top of the homework (and wondering why it involves so much parental coordination--is this really better than when I was young?), I'm orchestrating the shower routine, the bedtime routine, and it seems like every little thing.

I'm stuffing orders in the mailbox before the post office opens on my way to work, and when I get there I'm trying to keep people from falling, or hurting, or breaking anything else. I'm working with folks that may have no idea who I am and are utterly confused like the gentleman today who asked me if I was the "trash girl". I'm trying my best not to get hit or thrown up on, peed on, or anything-elsed on and then I come home and make dinner and try to pretend like my day was normal. Well, it is normal in my head, but when I stop to think about it I know it's miles away from what most of my friends would consider normal. But that's okay.

This readjustment has me caught up between worlds. Family, wife, home, animals, photography, knitting, e-business, market business, hospital business. I guess you could say today I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, a little misunderstood and like there's no room for error and with one misstep it could all come a-tumbling. But then again, it sounds like all I really need is a good night's sleep, and a little TLC. Wish me luck.


Pamela said...

I hope you enjoy the weekend. Take care of yourself - no mono!

Marissa said...

Ugh, I know this routine all too well. I have to remind myself to take a moment out of every day to step back and see the bigger picture, or it all feels too overwhelming. It ISN"T too overwhelming, of course, but it sure can feel that way!