Worst shower ever

 

I showered with this stinky boy last night in the small, stand-up shower off the mud room after he'd been sprayed by a skunk, or rolled in it, no telling, each possibility as plausible as the other.  There was no other option, it was all or nothing.  We were locked in together, in a tiny, steamy, coffin-like sauna of brewing stench that made my eyes water, he just panted and tried to bust out.

 

The things we do for our pets.  Or maybe I did it for me.  He could care less if he stinks.

 

I know, I know, you'll tell me there are fool-proof remedies and I know there are but I wasn't about to get out of my pajamas at nine o'clock to go pick up 3% hydrogen peroxide on a Sunday night so I could give him yet another dousing.  No, this would have to be good enough and good enough it was.

 

Now we've bonded in a new way, one I hope never to repeat only somehow, I feel certain we will.

On repeat

And so she woke up
woke up from where she was, lying there
said I, gotta do somethin' about where we're goin'

~lyrics from "Running to stand still" by U2

I know that whole song, word for word, note by note, without the music. I sing it over and over and over sometimes in my head while I'm walking Sunny, it's the perfect beat and rhythm for my pace. I remember so vividly when that album came out, near the end of my time in high school and playing that song on repeat day after day. I loved it. Still do. Some songs I know the words to only if I hear the music, but that one, I hear it in my head exactly as if it's playing on the radio, and remember every single word. Strange, because I don't really know what it means and I don't exactly think the subject matter is too happy to tell you the truth.

But there it was, in my head while I walked and the kids played on the swings, I walked and they climbed a tree (or tried at least), I walked and Sunny tried to yank my arm off to tackle the kids, I walked and Kevin headed under the house to investigate how on earth we woke up to the strong odor of skunk in the house, I walked when he gagged and coughed (because of the dust) trying to find a shred of evidence that they'd somehow infiltrated the fortress, I walked and he came out sweaty and dusty exclaiming, "I don't know how that happened, it definitely doesn't smell under the house, whatever happened thing's sealed up for sure now!"

It's enough to make many cringe, or want to leave and I can't say we haven't thought about it, but we've decided we're here to stay, and so have the skunks, and groundhogs, and mice, and snakes, and chipmunks and that's just the way it is. We know first hand that history often repeats itself whether you're talking about the economy, politics or rodents and we've learned to never say "never again". It makes me think back to that song, how little we actually control, and how life moves forward as it cycles at the same time, listening to the way it so quietly ends,

she's running to stand,
still....

Battle Skunk

Desperate times call for desperate measures and as you can see by the looks of our side porch, that's just what we took.


To make a very long story short, it became clear that after two weeks the skunk-under-the-house smell was not dissipating, not one little bit. Kevin pinpointed the area as coming from under the concrete porch that couldn't be accessed any way but from up top. So we demolished it, located a dead, rotted skunk, not intact, in its den, and the most horrendous, gut wrenching smell I've ever experienced in my lifetime. We hauled that away along with two pickup loads of concrete,


and are now on our way to rebuilding. That is, after Kevin replaces yet another original, termite bitten beam under the house and seals off that side of the house so no more critters can invade. All this was done on the 4th of July, all by hand, all by yours truly and the best husband I ever could have asked for.

Stay tuned for the rebuild.

You can't imagine

You can't imagine what it's like to wake up in the morning knowing full well that the skunk, this time, has gone and sprayed not just the groundhog but under the house. Oh yes. This was the morning. I was up early to get ready for the market and Kevin sprang into action.

Two industrial-sized fans sucking air out from under the crawl space. ON.
Windows. OPEN.
Candles. LIT.
Mood. GRUMPY. FRUSTRATED. And a little PISSED.

I felt bad leaving him to suffer through it himself, but had to get to the market which was great by the way. Just keeps getting better week after week. He brought the kids up after a while and it was clear he was miserable. Tell tale sign of a man defeated by skunk. He snipped at the kids and me, especially when I made suggestions about de-skunking, enough that I finally said, "hey, I'm not the skunk and I'm not the groundhog, remember me? I'm your wife, the one you love and adore. (smile)"

When I got home his mood had shifted again. This time sad and taking it personally. "Let's just bulldoze the house and start over (he's said this about a hundred times). What have I done to deserve a skunk spraying under the house? Is this payback for [insert ugly behavior here]? Seriously, what did I do to deserve this?"

And me, consoling, positive, proactive, taking the kids away for the afternoon to One Earth Natural Marketplace and the pool. Go honey, do what you need to do, take some time, go fishing. Much better.

The fans work wonders, but for the lingering staleness my new remedy is diffusing essential oils from One Earth. Man, does that work. My scent of choice today is called "purification". If that's not appropriate I don't know what is. I also bought a great handmade diffuser from her. Totally worth it. Better than 10 candles.

So what does the picture up above have to do with anything? This momma needs to kick back is what that means! Too busy for my own good but having a great summer. I've got all three kids going off the diving board. Yippee! They're having so much fun and I love watching it. Allie was at a point where she was frustrated she couldn't do more at the pool, but she's worked her way through it and challenged herself and now there's never a dull moment.

The market has been keeping me extremely busy but it's been a great business move too. It's much more fun than I imagined it could be. The wholesale orders for One Earth are still coming (one today) and keep me on my toes. With VBS over I'm looking forward to having time this week to get more knitting work done.

The garden is getting into gear. We may even have ripe tomatoes in a week. That's pretty normal around here, but it seems like ours always come in a little later than that. I'm psyched to see what we've got. I planted several varieties I've never tried before, including some heirlooms and threw all the labels/info away so I have no idea what's out there growing. I like being surprised that way. Guess I'm not your typical gardener.

But tonight I'm relaxing. Watching perhaps my favorite show, Ace of Cakes on Food Network. If you've never seen it you're in for a treat. It's like a living blog of some eclectic, artistic, completely laid back cake creators in Baltimore. Totally hilarious and will take me away from all thoughts skunk.

It is definitely the groundhog's fault

Yesterday afternoon I was on the front porch taking pictures of these cute new booties I'm calling "chocolate dipped" and I heard a rustling underneath me and the smell of skunk was increasingly pungent. Instantly my heartrate went up, the hair on my arms stood up and I was thinking, where are my husband and the gun at a time like this?!! But my thoughts quickly swirled to, "what if it's the skunk and not the groundhog?". I had visions of myself being sprayed, banned from my own house and society, and sitting in a tub of tomato juice or whatever it is that you do to get rid of skunk nastiness. Just then, the rustling and the stench increased and the groundhog stuck his nose and head up by the steps. I sat motionless, just watching him, wondering if he'd charge, bearing white teeth and chattering at me like in some bad movie. So I stomped on the porch, he saw me and terrified, darted back under the house.

I went inside, picked up the phone, do I call Kevin? I know he's in the middle of a meeting right now. I put the phone down and went back out to take more pictures. The same scenario played out again. That's it. Calling Kevin. "Where's the gun, how do I load it, he smells like roadkill, I'm gonna get that sucker, how do I shoot it once I get it loaded???" I got the I'm-in-the-middle-of-something-brushoff and an I'll be home soon, I'm leaving now.

But I'm a figure it out for myself kind of girl. I found the gun and put in the cartridge, kept the safety on and started lurking around my own yard looking quite suspicious, enough to bring a neighbor out of her house sipping wine for the full show. I crept from tree to tree trying to get in a good position and waited. As this all was happening, I turned around to see the other groundhog that lives under a huge mass of forsythia bushes, munching on the alfalfa the farmers just cut. I had a clear shot, I aimed, I started shaking and just as I was about to pull the trigger he ran. A minute later Kevin pulled up the drive, laughed at my sudden, out for blood kind of attitude, and showed me that I'd failed to put the first bullet in the chamber. Oh.

In case you're wondering, it's perfectly legal out here to shoot a gun on your own property. But since this is not always so reliable, especially when it's up to me, we've added another weapon to our arsenal. A live trap. So far she's empty. I just hope we don't trap a skunk.

p.s. the rest of the chocolate dipped booties should be up in the shop later this morning.

It could only mean one thing

All the windows are open,


all the candles are lit,


and an industrial-sized fan sits by the crawl space door drawing air out from under the house. If you guessed the skunk is back, you'd be right!

We managed to live here about 7 years before we experienced what can be an extremely unpleasant occurrence, when a skunk decides to eplore under the house. Sometimes the smell can be so bad that it's clear the skunk has sprayed under there. Other times we wonder if maybe he's sprayed the groundhog that also goes under the house. This time it's not so bad, but a good airing out is in order.

Used to be I thought we were just unlucky in this regard, that we were the only people so negatively affected by the critters we live with, but the more people I talk to, the more I realize we are not alone. One day a woman drove up the driveway, as random strangers often do out here, and she wanted to talk with me about getting up our hay. She said she lived in an old farmhouse further out, and out of nowhere asked me if the skunks liked to spray under the house. I was floored. It was good to know we weren't the only ones, but more importantly I was relieved to know it wasn't something WE were doing wrong.

As I chat with more folks who've lived out here a long time, I find that the skunk thing is well known and not rare. Also, it seems most folks out here also have the random mouse that dies under the house, smells for 3 days and then returns to normal. The same people also regularly battle ants. If you live in the country and this hasn't happened to you, consider yourself lucky. If you live in the city or the burbs and dream of country living, consider yourself informed. And if you don't think you can stomach being "one" with nature, don't move.

But if you're on the fence, consider this, you could also enjoy watching the deer early in the morning and at dusk who come to nibble on the alfalfa in the field just beyond the back yard.

Luckily my anti-hunting and anti-gun husband has had enough of the vermin. Yes, they've impacted us so strongly that his groundhog count is up to about 8 and the skunk count is at 1. We thought we were rid of the skunk, but as I've said before, just as one is gone nature supplies another to slip right into its place.