Great Expectations

 

"expectations are merely premeditated disappointments" --Wendy Silvers

to prepare for spring one must first:

detect fever, hear cough, look at sunken eyes

spend several hours at the pediatricians office

travel cross town to find the last remaining boxes of Tamiflu because "flu season is over"

fork over 120 bucks to cover all three kiddos just in case

pump her full of fluids and donuts (all she'd eat--don't judge)

pile on blankets, hand over remote

disinfect, disinfect, disinfect

chisel away at the ten loads of laundry that appeared overnight

work from home

run

[6 miles, 52:49, 8:48 ave pace, trail loop around the house]

make dinner

just. keep. moving.

8:30 pm, collapse

 

 

 

 

 

 

A changed perspective

Some Friday afternoons I think there's nothing better than holing up in my little office, the door slid closed, sitting in the window seat, music playing, making something new. The kids are settled, no homework, no busy schedule (usually), or at least there's typically a break in time before running back out on to the next thing. The still and calm are all I'm asking for, the time to myself, the time to breathe deep and settle in to the weekend, knowing the demands are temporarily are fewer, less urgent, or can just wait.

Things have changed of course, I'm not quite sure how I landed at exactly this place, but I know it happened gradually, largely without my being aware. Every once in a while I'm reminded of my age, my stage, where I really am. Working with many twenty-something-year-olds can be an ever-present reminder of how I fell asleep one day at 30, whirled around three times on the pregnancy merry-go-round which promptly spat me out 10 years later, back into another crew of twenty-something-year-olds who hold the mirror up to my age.

"What are you doing tonight?" one of them asked me one day at work, as if I had plans or something. (and on a weekday!)

I chuckled and started in, "Well, let's see, I get the kids off the bus, then it's homework, then one load of laundry after the next, you know the laundry never ends, then there's general child management which can involve nearly anything you want to name from conflict resolution to deep conversation to tickling to sports to friends and playdates or wiping tears, then meal preparation, lunch prep for the next day, back to the laundry, connecting with the husband, tending to household management, my business, life, dogs, chickens, the kids some more and then it's their bedtime and then more time with my husband and then my bedtime and it all starts over again the next day. Why, what are you doing?"

"Aggh! That sounds practically awful!" was his only response.

"Hmmm. Awful. It's never been awful. In fact, I wouldn't describe it ever as awful. It's really all I've ever wanted and all I still want. I love my family. I wouldn't trade it for anything. That's just the way things are." he was dumbstruck.

And I realize how thankful I am for that merry-go-round and how astonished I am at how it works its magic. If he's lucky, he'll step foot onto his own one day and he won't know what happened and that's probably the way it's really supposed to be, that is if you're very, very lucky.

The view from above

Recipe for a perfect Friday afternoon:

1. 85 degrees and sunny
2. pack up the boat and children
3. grab sandwiches on the way
4. go to the river (the close one)
5. hang out

6. draw
7. read
8. catch fish (just the boys this time)

9. knit a little

10. knit some more

11. throw everything in the catchall family bag upon hearing thunder

12. fall asleep to a Spring thunderstorm

I can think of so many reasons why this is the start to my favorite time of year.

What Christmas looks like

On any given day you'll find half-eaten gingerbread houses, stripy tights curled up on the rug,

gift bags for teachers waiting to be filled and lined up in a row,

the tree standing, looking the best it can in an unfinished office as we slowly expand into our new space. We like how the lights look in the big window as we come up the drive, and think we've found the right place for it.

There are the rocks Allie gathered on an impromptu expedition outside yesterday after days and weeks full of too much rain,

just below the grumpy cat, pretending to be miserable though we know otherwise.

The ever-important knitting bag and Legos, both of which figure prominently in the house and can usually be found here, in front of the fire.

Homework, always, homework.

Some jewelry making after a long hiatus,

and bags of clothes lined up and ready to be given away, if I don't put them here it could be months before I take them in.

In short, we are lived in, comfortable, expanding into new space, messy, real, spread out, together, sick, well, hungry, tired, ordinary and content, all waiting, excited and very much enjoying the season.

She Knits, camps

Don't for one minute think that when we go camping I'm cooking homemade blueberry scones with freshly picked berries over an open fire, or grilling steaks and cranking the old-fashioned ice cream maker to whip up some dessert afterward because that would just be wrong. But if you think that our camping trips bring relaxation,

the chance to dive into books,

the ever-important hula hooping,

and games of catch,


you'd be right.

You'd also be right to assume that the boat is a necessary guest and the highlight of the trip for some.



And for the rest of us the scenery,



and water alone,

are enough to do the trick.

Gathering

We couldn't have known ten years ago what buying this old place would actually come to mean, what it would really be like with two adjoining family properties, and the space to come together or move apart when necessary. It's been more than any of us could have imagined and it's the coming together that occupies my thoughts today.

An old barn, renovated,

provides ample space to gather, cookout, make homemade ice cream, put on family plays, open presents at Christmas, have birthday parties.

Fields for soccer, or kickball, or baseball, wagon rides,

go carts, tractors, farm toys.



My three children.

My nephew and two nieces.

Coming together to share the crazies,






a tour of the addition,

and walks. All at this place where the adventure started, the break from the norm, our escape from the ordinary, and really the only place we've found where we're free to be ourselves.

Happy 4th!

We began the holiday celebration last night with a cookout, one great-grandma, two grandparents, one brother-in-law, myself and six kids between us. Kevin had a fishing pass after tearing the front porch off the house, getting ready for the new addition. Come to think of it, we spent last 4th of July tearing another porch off the house because of the little, um, well, skunk problem. Remember?

Anyway, we missed him, but had a great time playing baseball and kickball and I let my nieces age 12 and 10 play around with my camera. These pictures are entirely from them, I wasn't involved at all and the results, I think, are wonderful.

First, of course you have the pink flip-flops and blue toenails.

Followed by a bit of shadow play.











And then the craziness that comes out at the end of the night. I love to see how the subject responds to the photographer.



(note the pink itch medicine on the poison ivy all over her face!)


In all, they took 330 pictures in just a couple of hours. Watching the creative imagination and thrill of the capture made my night. I'm sure to use more in coming posts.

Hope you have a happy holiday weekend!