What I want

Life is exciting around here.  I dubbed last night "family date night".  All five of us went with my daughter to get this year's new pair of glasses.  Cute--check.  "Everything looks so small!"  She can now see clearly again--check.  Let's go.  We went out to dinner and ate too much to go straight out for ice cream so we killed time at Target (buying lightbulbs and birthday cards and running into neighbors and a teacher friend) and Barnes and Noble.  Somehow date nights of every kind usually include a trip to the bookstore.  I know, the twenty-somethings out there are jealous.  Oh wait, they're not reading this.  We ended up pigging out on ice cream.  Family date night.

I was the last to pick out my book.  My husband ended up with two fishing magazines and researched the hot topic of late:  comparing techniques on how to kill and prepare fowl for human consumption (enough already with the roosters). 

"Just Google it", I said.

"I don't like the internet."  This from the man who taught himself how to can tomatoes from an online search and plans nothing without first a look at the weather radar.

"Oh, right."

My son grabbed a book from last year he didn't quite grasp and wanted to re-read, the girls nabbed sequels and books by favorite authors and I stood there staring into space.  I wandered.  I picked up this and that and put each one back down.  Note:  I am easily overwhelmed by too many choices and the inability to hear my inner voice.

I wondered, as I do, what people would think as they saw some forty-something, worn-down, tired-looking lady perusing the self-improvement, cooking, psychology, health and fitness and Eastern Religions sections.  Why not just fiction?  Humor?  How to raise a decent kid?  Too easy.  It had to speak to me, change me.  I was looking for an overhaul but something in the realm of simple yet profound, please.  While I typically would have rushed to leave and either hastily picked up something I didn't like or left with nothing at all, last night I took my time.  I made them wait and I think I found it.

So far what I've learned is this:  I have everything I need.  It's all just a dream (really?!).  It's no big deal. 

If this works, it might just work.